A couple of days ago, Joseph wrote a great post about dealing with difficult people. He’d remind himself, that, as annoying as someone may seem, nonetheless, they’re growing and evolving, and have already come a long way.
They may have come a long way, but there are times when even that knowledge doesn’t make it any easier!
Here are some other ways of looking at people, which have helped me get past some emotion or negative thoughts I’ve been caught up in. These are all true, but it’s often the case that one fits better than the others. (These are from Dharma talks by Daehaeng Kun Sunim)
1. I also used to be just like that.
2. They have a good heart, but when they open their mouth, it comes out all wrong.
3. This person(or event) is my true nature testing me. And helping me discover all the garbage I didn’t realize needed to be dealt with.
4. This is my true nature helping me grow up.
5. If I hadn’t made and sent out this kind of energy, it couldn’t have returned to me like this.
6. All minds and my mind are one mind pppppIf I repeat this one to myself, it’s like everything inside me settles down and becomes peaceful.
(I’m a bit reluctant to get into commenting on these too much, but every single one of these has helped me get through more than a few difficult situations. )
We are all connected through our Buddha-nature. Through this non-dual foundation, energy and intention are freely going back and forth. Thus, the thoughts I give rise to are felt by others, and if those thoughts are contempt, resentment, or dislike, others will respond accordingly.
If we can resolve the situation harmoniously, that’s the end of it. However, because we are all connected as one, if we leave things unresolved or with resentment and ill-will in the air, those will all come back to us. Again and again. So take care of things harmoniously, even though it may be a bother, or seem unfair (if you saw all the causes involved, you’d probably agree it was perfectly fair!).
As you free the other person, you’ll free yourself as well.
(This is all part of one long verse, so I’m including the opening lines in brackets, and the new part in bold text.)
[In this and all future lives, wherever they may take place, let me always reside with the great wisdom, the Prajna wisdom and never step back from this,] so that I may attain the brave wisdom of Sakyamuni Buddha, so that I may attain the great enlightenment of Vairocana Buddha, so that I may attain the great wisdom of Manjusri,
[원컨대 저희로 하여금 세세생생 나는 곳마다 언제나 반야의 큰 지혜로부터 물러나지 않게 하사 ] 석가모니 부처님의 용맹한 지혜를 얻게 하오며 노사나 부처님의 큰 깨달음을 얻게 하여지이다 문수보살과 같은 큰 지혜
This week and perhaps next week as well, we’ll be going over the “Morning Prayer” or “Morning Blessing,” that’s recited by sunims every day during the (early!) morning ceremony. It’s a bit long, but try to recite it a few times anyway – It’s very healthy for the lives that make up our body to follow allow with this energy and intention.
Lighting candles and offering incense before the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, every morning and evening, may the heavens and the Earth be peaceful, may warfare and violence disappear may the land be calm and stable and the Dharma Wheel always turning.
조석으로 향과 등불 불전에 올려서 삼보 전에 귀의하여 부처님께 예배하노니 국계는 안녕하고 병혁은 녹아져서 천하가 태평하여 법륜을 굴리게 하소서
This is the conclusion of the seven homages. These are chanted three times a day in temples, but usually in the Sino-korean version (ie Chinese characters), where the meaning isn’t as up-front as the English or Korean translations. To be honest, we at the center don’t actually know who did the Korean translation of this! I suspect it was the first office manager who worked closely with Daehaeng Kun Sunim, but he passed away many years ago. I think everyone at the time knew who had worked on these, but no one actually wrote anything down. But, even if Kun Sunim didn’t do all of the Korean translation herself, she certainly reviewed it and made any changes that were necessary.
Next week, we’ll start on the morning blessing.
In this way, my greatest wish is that all beings, every single one of them, awakens to their great essence.
If they ever come up with a tattoo ink that lasts for only one or two years, I would be seriously tempted to get some of these verses tattooed on my arm where I’d see them every day! (I wouldn’t want anything much longer than that, because as I grow and change, some other verse would be more suited to me at that point.)
One mind, the precious treasure of all times, may I always follow its great love, its great compassion.
(Korean readers might notice that I used the same Korean text for yesterday and today. This isn’t an accident; splitting the Korean into two separate verses was the only way to tease out the nuances in the text, but the Korean itself can’t be split so cleanly.)
Taking care of everything through one mind, in harmony with the principles of the unseen realms, is to be a true practitioner.
제 마음을 다 바쳐서 한마음의 지혜로운 통찰력으로 법망에 걸림 없이 찰나찰나 일체 시방 삼세 다스리기에 승가야중이니라
There’s a lot about this verse that aligns with the new subtitled video we posted a couple of days ago. In a sense, it doesn’t matter so much if you can perfectly do this. What’s more important, for the time being, is opening yourself to the possibility of this. Not insisting that I am able to do this, but rather that I want to be able to do this. Just in saying that “I want to be able to do this,” we become more able to see the choices that will lead us forward along this path. We tend to go in the direction we’re looking. When helping beginning drivers, I always tell them to focus on their own lane, to keep the car “centered” on the right-hand line, especially at night. If they start looking at the oncoming lane too often, they’ll drift that way without even realizing it. We go where we’re looking. So let’s work at having our eyes pointed towards a positive, healthy, and somewhat ambitious target!
With my whole heart, I vow to become someone who can ceaselessly take care of all things in every place and time using the infinite discernment and penetrating wisdom of one mind.
제 마음을 다 바쳐서 한마음의 지혜로운 통찰력으로 법망에 걸림 없이 찰나찰나 일체 시방 삼세 다스리기에 승가야중이니라
I can’t believe I forgot to mention this! We have a new Dharma talk by Kun Sunim on YouTube. This is pretty good one! In it she focuses on something that (rightly) often gets a bad rap – the ability of the intentions we give rise to.
The main idea is that this world moves and responds according to the thoughts we give rise to. If we keep thinking that the situation is a certain way, then those thoughts are like instructions to the lives that make up our bodies to move in that direction. This is why it’s so important to view things positively, even when it would be easy to take the negative view. Even when it would be easy to think of that perspective as more realistic.
The example I always give comes from my time at Korean Army bases: If the sergeant tells soldiers to get to the top of a mountain in 30 minutes, they take off running, not having any real doubt about getting up there. They likely expect it will be hard, and a few people might have problems, but they’re all going to be there.
If on the other hand, the sergeant says it’s too hard for them, that they can’t do it, then of course, the soldiers don’t even try. It’s the same way with the lives in our body.
Now, there are some limitations to this. Cause and effect play a role, as does my capacity to deal with even the good things that happen to me. There are so many reasons why I may not have a million dollars fall out of the sky. To do so might burn up all of my good karma, leaving me with nothing in the bank, so to speak. Would you trade your health or even life for money? Would you trade them for a new car?
More likely, those kinds of desires tend to be reflections of our discriminations and narrow viewpoints, and as such, they can’t easily connect with the energy of the whole. To connect with that, I have to let go of and entrust the intentions I’ve given rise to.
There are probably more aspects of this I should have addressed, so if you have a question, go ahead and ask in the comments.
Then from within the song of this flowing one mind, this spring of the deepest wisdom, great beings see that there is truly no dying or being reborn, and from this place, they raise great intentions that touch all life. Thus, they come to be called “great beings.”
한마음의 소리는 두루 높아 모두 온 게 없기에 갈 것도 없이 그대로 대심大心 내어서 선지식이니라