Practice, Don’t Say; Be And Learn. Don’t Explain

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In seeking word and action, rather than being, we suffer
Seeking what we have seen, and had…we suffer more, until…
Having, we learn, and fill ourselves
Then, empty, or full, we find contentment, or loss, again…
And the cycle continues…

. . .

Joe poured tea, today

He, Eunbong, Fina, and I enjoyed the company of one another

Joe and I spoke of words, as the clouds, sky, and sun…
Poured warm, bright light…into the seventh floor window
Onto us, the tea, and the wood
It was “good”

The balancing company of sangha heals us

Hues of sepia, deep and light, sent dreamy images and aromas,
Up to our senses,
From the cups

I asked about an aspect of love

Joe said, “I don’t think about it.”
Brief, and almost empty, yet apparently resonant…
Like the sound that the copper bowl made, when we invited it to ring, earlier…
Joe’s words stealthily disappeared in me,
For I let their momentary ’emptiness’ go,
Like the bell-sound of the bowl

Then we talked about practice, and talking about practice
We agreed that practice described in sentences
Does not convey the deeper experience that practice reveals

It was at this time that Joe’s answer about love
Appeared to me about practice, and more…

As in love, in practice

In seeking descriptions, definitions, and a record of what happened
We are found to be saying something different-from what the listener can understand…
Without experience

This is suffering,
As we seek the gratification that words often cannot produce
And only experience, and practice
Can truly reveal,
And teach


“I take refuge in the sangha”
This weekend, I did

My Dharma Brother Joseph, “Gil Do”,  and his kind and caring wife, Eunbong,
Their wisely-countenanced and
Jolly Daughter, Fina

My patient and erudite teacher and friend, Chong Go Sunim
And my Dharma Brother Marcus, “Seokjong” with his gift of mindfulness

All in kind and compassionate listening, counseling, sharing and generosity
Brought me to this place

To all I say,
Come to the temples
Be you Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Agnostic, or Atheist
There is serenity and the tone of peace here

Penetrating and cleansing

A Holy Spirit,  a Buddha Nature, a Juingong
And you find it in yourself
And it takes you home

To freedom

Thank you,

Brothers and Sisters of the Sangha

This is Yongju Sa, in Suwon…
Where the monk said:
“Katchi Sungbulhaseyo”
Let us become enlightened ones,

How beautiful
How necessary

Bowing, Meditating, And A Challenging Video

Love, Peace, and Joy to You!

Last night I did 108 bows, but I made about 114 vows, or so. I  bow for the same reason I meditate; I know that the benefits in bowing and meditation can change my behavior, or Karma. That is the point of spiritual practice, in my view.

I offered more vows, (and altered some of the existing ones) as I bowed and recited them, because I have my own ideas about what I need to do, think, believe, and practice, to live a better life for myself and those around me. 

This, to me, is finding the truth within; taking lessons from different doors I have walked through, but not forgetting the journey I can make by paying attention along the way, having walked through the door in my own “heart” and by looking through the window of my own mind.

When we do not do this, accepting one way or one dogma part and parcel, I feel we sacrifice our own mind; our own connection to the divine, and truths waiting to pass through us as individual portals of consciousness.

I have experienced the benefits of prostrations and meditation. I am not talking about anything supernatural, in any way, shape , or form. I am giving testimony about physical, mental, and behavioral changes in my life and in the lives of those around me as a result of my meditation and bowing, and as a result of the beautiful vows and acts of contrition I recite while doing these practices.

I believe that if most people on this planet-regardless of their religious, spiritual, or philosophical practices were to take these vows every day and try to be mindful of them (if not actually fulfill them all the time) many problems would begin to go away quickly, as long as we didn’t fight over the concept and force it on anyone.

I also believe that taking these vows while prostrating or meditating  makes the vows more effective and easier to follow because making a promise and acknowledging pious and impious behavior while doing something physical manifests the vows and acknowledgements deeper in the mind, and in one’s behavior. 

Having said this, I offer a great video for your nourishment, which actually sort of takes a crack at repetitive spiritual practices, like bowing…so I apologize to anyone who might be offended when they come across it.

Also, I saw only the first part of this video after writing my article, and put it up then. In addition, I have since discovered there are five other parts that go into greater detail.

Lastly, I can be a bit myopic, so I didn’t notice the title, which some may find a bit alienating. I often think people should be more careful with their titles if they would like a wider audience to consume their ideas! As consolation, I say that I feel the essence of the ideas expressed in the video, you may find worthwhile, if not wonderfully enlightening; perhaps even worthy of passing on.

Peace, Love, and Joy to You and Those Around You!


Thich Nhat Hanh

I have been catching a bit of Thich Nhat Hanh on Buddhist TV lately. Last night he really left an impression on me, like never before, or, perhaps I have been “away” too long.

He talked about nourishing positivity in us, and steering away from the negative.

He also said something that surprised me just a little; ‘when you have a positive feeling, or are around a positive person, ask it/her to stay. Maintain it in your mind.’ It sounded a little like attachment, but I know that isn’t what he meant.

Finally, He said what we already know from the Buddha; that we nourish our depression, our anger, our negativity, and so it is a choice.

When he spoke about the negative outcome of our nourishment, thoughts, actions, and finally our states of mind, he talked of course about suffering. But he said that suffering is necessary. He even said that suffering is a part of the kingdom of God; it’s necessary for the understanding of pain, and thus the growth of compassion. I really appreciate Thich Nhat Hanh making Zen inclusive, rather than exclusive.

In the end, he sounded like Dae Heng Sunim, the Buddha, and all Zennists; we are all part of one another, just as the clouds are part of the flowers we see, meaning no one thing happens or exists without everything else; a lesson to not see ourselves as separate, which leads to self-righteousness and blame.

A Better Zennist

All the people I meet, especially people I care about and who care about me, are my potential teachers. That is just how I look at life.

I met my Zen teacher, Chong Go Sunim, in 2007 and liked what he’d said about just about everything we spoke of. I’d never met Daehaeng Kun Sunim, his teacher, but I read her books, saw her on several occasions, and I bowed to her in respect, several times.

As with anything, I don’t accept all aspects of Buddhism, or Hanmaum Zen, which in Korean is called ”Seon”, but Han-maum, or One Mind Zen has at it’s center of understanding, a beautiful way of looking at reality; namely it says that our inherent nature is interconnected with all things. It also says that if we let go our worries, concerns, and desires to this “foundation”, they will find themselves-through our conscious effort of letting go of them-solved. This takes place in the interconnectedness of all things, working together. This is called Juingong. But you could call it God, if you want.

It is just the words that are different. You see, in Hanmaum, we “put our worries and concerns in our Juingong”, but I have realized it is the same as praying to God. I mean, I realize it doesn’t involve speaking to God, but you could do that too, if you believe in God. But if I release my worries and concerns to my foundation, does God not hear this? Of course not.

What I love about Hanmaum, though, or Zen, really, is that it doesn’t conflict with science, or any faiths, if you truly understand it.

In a funny way, it’s like The Force, in Star Wars. All life is bound by and penetrated with this oneness, and its energy emanates from all things as well. To me what people call “God” is like this; in everything and everywhere, and so what you call him doesn’t matter (those of you seeing God as something moe or less than male, please pad on my use of the masculine pronoun. I do so in the interest of convention according to standard English). The proof of that is all the names he has. In English it’s God. In Korean it’s Hana Nim (First Man, or First One), and in other languages it is other things. Do you think he cares? It is your heart he hears, not your tongue. He’s God. He’s not bound by the same physical limitations that you and I are bound by. I guess I should say here that I am not arguing a case for the existence of God, but I am arguing a case for the oneness of all things, and if one believes in Juingong, or God, it really doesn’t matter, not too much to practitioners of Hanmaum, anyway, and frankly, to me, that’s beautiful; no dogma here.

To me, Zen meditation can be utilized by anyone at any time, regardless of his or her religious practice. It is a tool for peace, harmony, and relieving oneself of useless worry, greed, and harmful states of mind that give rise to our misfortunes. It brings enlightenment. The main practice in any form of Buddhism, or Zen, is to meditate, which bings one the ability to live, as opposed to unconsciously.

I think Christians and Muslims should meditate. Chistians, especially, often ask me why I cannot just follow God, saying, ‘if you did that’, you wouldn’t’ need meditation’. I love people for caring about me this much, but people who say such things-in my opinion- betray a fear of solutions that can be added to their spiritual ‘kit-bag’, and they are basically saying something tantamount to, ‘hey, I got God; who needs penicillin, or stretching before running, or hammers?’

Though I think of myself as a Zennist, and I am in awe of many of the realizations Siddhartha Gautama had, I am not a Buddhist in the strictest sense, for Buddhists believe in rebirth. I am not sure about this. Actually, I am pretty sure I do not believe in  it, insofar as it means (to some) that my whole consciousness will be reborn in another life-form. I am not sure the Buddha meant that anyway. I think reincarnation and rebirth are vastly different, anyway, but I  don’t prescribe to either notions.

Buddhists also want to be  from the cylce of existence. I do not want to be. I love existence. What else is there? It makes sense, though, that Siddhartha Gautama would have wanted to find a release from the cycle of rebith, as he was raised in a Hindu nation, and the going idea was that you could come back as a worm, or an ant. Who would want that? Sheesh! But I do believe the basic teachings of The Buddha, just as I believe in what Jesus taught*.

I am a Zennist because Zen meditation makes my Christian practice better, and by that I mean my practice of loving others. Period. And as much as I am a Buddhist, because I believe in the basic idea that everything is in our minds, Zen meditation makes my Buddhist practice better. It is a wonderful tool. And to be a better Zennist just means to meditate often, so as to stay more “in the moment”, and less in the ego.

Seong Bul Hashipshiyo,

Carl~Mahn Doe


* I am actually quite interested in the Gnostic gospels, which reflect ideas and teachings attribited to Jesus that were not permitted into the book we commonly call The Bible. For an accurate and fair assessment of  the origins and history of that book, read world renowned biblical scholar Dr. Bart Ehrman’s Misquoting Jesus: Who Changed The Bible And Why

What Drew Me to Buddhism: You Are What You See

I feel that how one views the universe (or, more simply, reality), and us in it–basically, what one believes and believes in, become the foundation of his or her mental health and personal happiness.  I also feel that all of us are better off choosing what makes sense–in finding a belief (or beliefs), and that then we must confidently believe in that way.  It seems to me this is natural, honest, and therefore, better for the heart and mind. Most importantly, belief that is chosen, I feel, is the true eye of one’s individual heart and mind, which show us what we believe, so it comes from within, is original, and is thus not contrived or forced. You could say that what we see as true, and thus believe, defines us. You are what you see?

In this article, I talk about belief-particulary personally found belief- and what caused me to find comfort in Zen, as opposed to another practice or faith. I do not wish to say, however, that one religion is better than another, for everyone. I do wish to tell my personal story, just as a painter, poet, novelist or film-maker attempts to show his personal vision, which is basically his or her mental experience.

As an example illustrating my frustration with those who might criticize a practitioner of a faith, and to draw an analogy between practitioners of a faith and artists (to show that belief is as personal as personal vision), let me digress and mention the film director Oliver Stone. He made the movie JFK to show what he and many see as a possible series of events explaining a part of history that has been unsatisfactorily explained by the government of the United States. He was criticized for poorly representing history. I heard him speak, and I was impressed with his detailed knowledge of the history and the era which he was a part of. He weaved together a story that was in shreds at all edges. A story that was left in a pile of uncertainty.  He was not supposed to represent history. As an artist, his charge was/is to represent what his perceptions, available knowledge and his talents reflect. His responsibility was/is to himself, in showing what his mind and its perception of the world has shown him.

A Practioner of a faith, be it a celebrated one or one that is invented by oneself (or an amalgam of other faiths) has one obligation; to see it, understand it, follow it, and perhaps, express himself honestly about it. When you think about it, this is how Christianity and Buddhism came about; Hanmaum, and Interbeing, too. Through self-reflection, Jesus and Gautama found ways to express their truths, as truth was revealed to them, though it diverged or grew from practices of the day. Dae Heng Kun Sunim does this. Thich Nhat Hanh, does this. We all do this, to one degree or another. Spiritual individuals-whether they are great prophets, monks, or the sons of God or artists-change faiths–or at least practices of a faith-to present their perceptions of those faiths and reality as they see it. This is what the human mind should be able to do, without criticism.

I was raised Roman Catholic, with a heavy sprinkling of born again-ism, in Long Island’s sleepy New York suburb of Lynbrook. With  it’s “prefix” and “suffix”  reversed, Lynbrook is Brooklyn, so you can imagine who renamed it, from the original Pearsall’s Corners, and perhaps, who settled it, for the most part. I myself was born in Brooklyn. How did I wind up a “Zennist”, studying Buddhism in Korea?

I was taught to love everyone. And, in my opinion, I was raised in  a country (and especially a state), where it is-as my friend Tony Watkins says-practically un-American not to criticize your nation. So I was brought up to be compassionate, but critical. My mother was the church-goer, my father the activist-democrat. So I grew up thinking. A lot. Thinking and writing, and going to church on Sundays. But church, the older I got, seemed to gather people with a less than compassionate practical philosophy and a very conservative style of politics. 

As a teen-ager, I had taken up reading American cold war history, specifically about the Viet Nam “conflict”.  I had become an Urgent Action letter-writer for Amnesty International’s Program to Abolish The Death Penalty. I marched against war and military Aid to Latin American countries.  The biggest opponents of what I was doing seemed to all be people of the faith I was raised in. I couldn’t understand this.

It had seemed to me that everything that the Christian faith asked us not to do, we were actually making a part of our daily lives, and in fact, it seemed these were the real actions and concepts Christians believed (in practice, anyway) and this bothered me; specifically support of the death penalty, interventionist wars,  a lack of compassion for the homeless, those with aids, those in jail, and policies that violated the sanctity of a woman’s right to choose what to do with her own body.

In short, no matter how I looked at it, most of the church people I knew were either in support of, or oblivious to the most egregious violations of compassion worldwide, and not on a small scale. 

Then there was the religious view of science. The religion I was raised in had a history of going against common sense, empiricism, and reality, quite frankly.  I haven’t mentioned it, but my passion as a boy was astronomy and I loved biology too, and I was always hearing “we didn’t come from monkeys” from religious people. Well, evolution doesn’t say we do, either. I was forced to see that many people of the church are victims and purveyors of gross ignorance.

One day in the bookstore, I came across a book by Thich Nhat Hanh.  The Venerable Tich Nhat Hanh brought together spirituality and social action. This represented for me, responsible, and spiritually honest living.

When I was in high school, it was the church goers who were attacking free speech, trying to put prayer in schools (not fair in a nation that professes the idea that religion and state be separate), and trying to say we shouldn’t give condoms to people in Africa, where AIDS was running rampant.

The Buddhists I met and read about lived the lives they believed in. In fact, many were vegetarians, pacifists, and very open-minded and progressive. None were telling me I had to give up believing in the sensible laws of physics, or of evolution, or that I had to support one or another war. They didn’t teach through fear, or a greedy desire to go to Heaven.

I am aware that there are good Christians, that they have charities all over the world, and that there is much virtue in that faith and the many denominations of Christianity. In fact,  I am still happy to say I have a Christian heart, while maintaining that I am attempting to cultivate a Buddhist mind. I still go to church, from time to time, and my girlfriend is a protestant, bringing much love and forgiveness into my life through her faith. 

I even believe the Christian-Judaic foundation is part of what makes America and other Westernized democracies great in certain respects, for it instills the notion of the sanctity of the individual and his rights in society; something I feel is lacking to certain major degrees in Confucianist and other male-dominated societies, which has definite deleterious effects on the growth of the individuals in them, politically, maturation-wise, and spiritually.

Buddhism seems to conflict very little-if at all-with science, carries a major underlying message of love and compassion (with no exceptions), and seems to be practiced by people who show a great deal of peace of mind–more than the adherents in the God-based faiths in my observation–who always seem to be leading their nations to war.

So, I read Tich Nhat Hanh, and it made me peaceful. I read Suzuki, and it made me sit.  I read Lao Tzu, and it made me see great wisdom (I still love the compassionate stories of Jesus, however, and think they are of  prime importance in learning to be a humane human being).

In my early twenties, I poured coffee for His Holiness The Dalai Lama at The Rainbow Room in New York City, and I realized I had never seen a spiritual or political leader more jovial and happy in my life. In fact, I had never seen anyone who laughed so heartily while shaking so many hands. Thoughts of Santa Clause entered my mind. ‘This man was at peace’, I thought.

I found people of a softer mind and infinitely less judgemental heart  in the Buddhist friends I made, and finally, in Korea, I discovered a way to practice that showed a reflection of that idea I cherish: the importance of the “individual”.

Dae Heng Kun Sunim’s focus on the “Juingong”, or the True Doer of our actions, to me, advocates the bringing of  salvation to the individual from the individual, so to speak. I don’t find it conflicts with theistic faith, either, in that Jesus, for example, taught that the kingdom of heaven is within, as is God.

The Buddha taught that man should take refuge in himself (not in The Buddha, or in a god). For many years, to my eyes, I had felt it was the process of supplication to an exterior source that was causing the apparent  lack of true spiritual growth, open-heartedness, and open-mindedness (as well as an increase in  greed and feelings of victim-hood) in the people around me who were dedicated to the theistic faiths.

*I do not actually claim to be a Buddhist. I find the sects of Buddhism, like those of Christianity, do not follow what the Buddha taught exactly, any more than Christians really follow Jesus, but what I like about being associated with this practice is that there are no real major divisions among Buddhists causing major strife over differences in opinion, and there is no hell-fire and brimstone talk that teaches out of fear. You don’t see Buddhists supporting war, or fist-fighting, for that matter. Well, not much, anyway.

Finally, I think of myself as a Zennist. Meditation was at the heart of The Buddha’s enlightenment, and his teaching, and it has been at the center of any self-induced growth I  have had. That is what makes Buddhism a person and people-transforming practice; the sitting, the looking inward, and the cleaning of the mind’s “slate”, as it were; the opening of the heart, where truth comes in through a lack of arrogance and an increasing of peace, and where dogma plays no part.

To me, this is the true value of any religion or philosophy; how well it transforms individuals, and then, masses of those individuals, such that they are more peaceful, loving, kind, and open to learning and growth in all positive ways. Any belief that limits these virtues is to be questioned and examined, to the greatest possible depth, because, as I said, you are what you see; it becomes your belief, the foundation of your mental health and personal happiness, and affects those around you.