As long as I can remember I’ve believed in our fundamental innate wisdom. It made sense that the Creator would build a self-sufficient organism, endowed with all the elements necessary for its journey through life, including and especially the knowledge for self-realization .
Despite this conviction, however, I have struggled to manifest this wisdom in my own life and for years I have struggled with doubt. I questioned my own wisdom, in favor of that of others. I questioned my self-worth, such that I was often led down paths not suited to me. In questioning my character I would reinforced those traits I desired least. Doubt has certainly played a less than beneficial role in my life, although one could argue this point, if it brings me to this place of insight.
The Sakyamuni Buddha and many other wisdom teachers have encouraged us to test their teachings in order to realize our personal Truth. This admonition would certainly seem to encourage fostering a certain degree of doubt as part of our practice. Yet the Buddha also warns that there is nothing “more dreadful than the habit of doubt”, and doubt is listed among the five hindrances that impede successful practice. So where is the balance? When do the questions stop being fuel for our journey and instead become hindrances to advancement.
The answer, I believe, is in the practice of letting go. We let the questions come and release them into the emptiness that is constant change. Then we observe what comes and let that go too. Into the emptiness. Into our fundamental mind. We practice listening to our inner Wisdom and applying its teachings in our lives. This is not an easy practice, I’ve found. I often find myself questioning the still, small voice and wishing it were a little more earth shattering and perhaps not so small. This is where we engage our faith and trust in our essential Being, God, Unity. We trust that the appropriate questions will arise for our particular path and just as surely, the right answers will manifest in us. Daehaeng Sunim calls this true, great questioning.
“When you wholeheartedly believe in and entrust everything to your foundation, questioning bursts forth. When you let go again of even these questions, the answer will arise from within”
Doubt opens up a space for exploration, a space of non-grasping where, in the words of Martine Bachelor, author and meditation teacher, we can creatively engage the present moment and let our wisdom blossom. Doubt is ok. The questions will come. My practice will be let them go and trust my innate wisdom to take care of me as it has through this and many past lifetimes.